The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
