you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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