Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Someone came in the potted fern
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
