Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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