I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
