As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
