I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
