Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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