Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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