he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
