im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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