i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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