So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
