i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fuck me I smell like cheese
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
