Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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