I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
do herpes really smell.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he just fucked me for my cheese.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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