Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize