Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
