I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize