I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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