I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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