32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
