I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
