Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
