im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You did what with his pubic hair?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
