do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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