I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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