did you get engaged???
hotel room ftw
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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