Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
