My room smells like vodka and shame
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
