Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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