Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
