Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
