You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
