We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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