Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
