I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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