the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Green mimosas i think yes
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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