WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
