Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
