apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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