I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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