I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish I only lived at night.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
