My underwear smells like fireworks.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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