In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
