It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
