That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
