hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
