Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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