fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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