So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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