that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
