Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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