Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
