What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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