do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
