Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
