Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
