i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You don't make any sense
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