i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize