The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
