The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Green mimosas i think yes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
