Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
