my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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