Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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