We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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